Gratitude & Compassion

Gratitude

As perfectionists, we are constantly scanning the environment and ourselves for ways to move towards perfection.

Gratitude is the practice of being grateful for "what is".  Gratitude helps check the tendency of constantly being critical and dissatisfied.  Gratitude is an attitude of acceptance.  To enjoy and take pleasure in what has been achieved.

It is often suggested to keep a gratitude journal.  I did this for awhile, and it does help to set down concretely the things you are grateful for on a daily basis and be able to review it.

If we can begin to practice gratitude more often, we will tone down and stop the perfection obsession cycle.  Hold "an attitude of gratitude".

Compassion

I find as a perfectionist, I have had very little compassion for others.  I have been focused on my goals, expectations, standards to the exclusion of feelings.

No one is perfect.  We are all human.  If we can begin to bring some compassion into our lives, some kindness, mercy, tenderness, sympathy...for ourselves and others, we will begin to soften on the expectations of perfection which can be so harsh, exacting, even cruel.

With compassion comes kindness and forgiveness, attributes we need to "try on".  Life will get less stressful if we can accept imperfection.

Practicing Happiness: Gratitude

When I first heard about practicing gratitude, it made me think of Sunday School and saying grace.

It sounds religious, and probably is part of all religions.  It also sounds simplistic and "goody two shoes".

But it works.  Why?

If I take a few moments each day just to be grateful...for whatever I'm grateful for at that moment--the hot water in my bath, the taste and smell of my coffee, a safe place to be--it helps change my mood.  It makes me feel good. 

And here's why I think it works:

1) Being grateful makes me look a what's good and right in my life, rather than what's wrong.  It helps me focus on the glass half-full rather than the alternative.

2) Being grateful makes me present, mindful.

3) Being grateful overcomes "hedonistic adaptation".  We tend to habituate to things that initially made us happy.  Being grateful makes us aware again of the joy, pleasure, comfort of things we take for granted.

And like most "happiness" practices, it has a snowball effect.

If there is one thing that has helped me change my attitude towards life it is gratitude.

'Doesn't mean I don't get down, depressed or anxious; but it does help move me in the direction I want to be moving.