Social Connections II

So...what to do if one is lacking social connections--as they seem to be such an important element of well-being and happiness?

Especially when one is an introvert, as I?

Well, I don't know if it counts, but I have recently joined an on-line discussion group re: Nobel literature laureates.  For the past two years I have been reading through the Nobel authors, with no one with whom to discuss what I'm reading.

I stumbled across this group through a Google search the first week of January, and it has given me great joy, I must admit, to get up each morning--see what others have posted, to contribute a review, to ask a question.

These people are from all over the world, so they wouldn't/couldn't be there for me in times of crisis.  It wouldn't be proper to have any sort of expectation that way.  But I do think they would notice if I was gone for few days, and they seem to appreciate and value my contribution...so that makes me feel good...and somewhat connected.  At least more connected than I was.

And then there is the treatment world.  It is really important for me not to give up on that.  To push myself to my appointments and not cancel.

I also have a mature group of dual diagnosis adults which I try to attend two to three times a week.  As much energy as this takes from me, I also get a lot of good information and support in return.  There are times when I have gone "underground" for a week or so when I'm not feeling well; but it is always good to return and have that caring understanding connection.

I recognize this is probably not enough; but it is a start.

Taking a break from family may be the right thing to do at certain times in one's life.  But it is also very important to try to make some sort of connection to the best of one's ability, and be at peace with it.

Practicing Happiness: Social Connections

The importance of social connections cannot be over-emphasized.  And with my introversion, my propensity to isolate, and the instability of my relationships, this is an area in which I am sorely lacking.

Research has shown that family ranks highly in the lives of happy people. Church or some defined community group, with similar understood belief systems or experiences also ranks high with happy people.

Why are social connections such an important element of happiness?

1) They provide support during times when it is needed, as well as celebration of life's milestones.

2) They provide engagement, a social context/fabric into which one is knit.

3) They provide daily rituals and a sense of continuity, stability.

4) They often improve one's view of oneself and the world.

5) They give us the opportunity to practice social skills in a safe forgiving environment.  Skills such as compassion, forgiveness, conflict management, conversation and communication skills, respect, empathy, comfort, celebration, humour, acceptance of others' point-of-view (POV), activities, sharing goals and values.

But what if, for whatever reasons, one does not have a good family life or a spiritual/cultural community; what does one do?

For me, I ran from both.  As initially, I found it all very toxic.  Judgemental. Condemning. Rejecting. Constraining. Unaware of the outside world and other realities.  Not intellectual enough, etc. etc.

There were many reasons for me to leave Church and family.  But truthfully, I haven't been able to replace their necessary function in contributing to my well-being for any length of time.

I have never felt I "belonged" anywhere.  I haven't found my tribe.