The importance of social connections cannot be over-emphasized. And with my introversion, my propensity to isolate, and the instability of my relationships, this is an area in which I am sorely lacking.
Research has shown that family ranks highly in the lives of happy people. Church or some defined community group, with similar understood belief systems or experiences also ranks high with happy people.
Why are social connections such an important element of happiness?
1) They provide support during times when it is needed, as well as celebration of life's milestones.
2) They provide engagement, a social context/fabric into which one is knit.
3) They provide daily rituals and a sense of continuity, stability.
4) They often improve one's view of oneself and the world.
5) They give us the opportunity to practice social skills in a safe forgiving environment. Skills such as compassion, forgiveness, conflict management, conversation and communication skills, respect, empathy, comfort, celebration, humour, acceptance of others' point-of-view (POV), activities, sharing goals and values.
But what if, for whatever reasons, one does not have a good family life or a spiritual/cultural community; what does one do?
For me, I ran from both. As initially, I found it all very toxic. Judgemental. Condemning. Rejecting. Constraining. Unaware of the outside world and other realities. Not intellectual enough, etc. etc.
There were many reasons for me to leave Church and family. But truthfully, I haven't been able to replace their necessary function in contributing to my well-being for any length of time.
I have never felt I "belonged" anywhere. I haven't found my tribe.
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