As we consider these emotions, it might be useful to keep a running journal of when you have felt interest, pleasure, surprise and the emotions which follow. It may be a way of getting in touch with yourself and seeing where you might have work to do.
Shame
Shame is caused by a loss of self-esteem, usually through an unfavourable comparison with someone else.
Shame can be experienced in a group (as when you fluff your lines in a play) or alone (as when you envy something someone else has).
In its extreme form, shame can become humiliation, causing those who experience it to withdraw completely, avoiding the scrutiny of others.
Shame is one of those almost useless emotions. It feels terrible; but as discussed earlier in this blog, it serves little purpose to compare ourselves with others. We can never know the entirety of what they are going through. And although it may seem they are doing better, somehow, in the moment; there is much we don't see and don't know about another's life.
No one gets out of Earth School without lessons. You have no way of knowing another's life, so it is futile to compare.
Anger
Anger occurs when you feel victimized. When you feel wronged.
As with all emotions, anger runs the full spectrum from minor irritations or annoyance, to full-blown fury or rage.
Whether we are merely irritated, or furious, it is unpleasant emotion that tells us something is wrong. There are times when anger is an appropriate emotion; but it is the one that can get us in the most trouble, socially. It is the one emotion for which there are numerous anger management workshops.
The real danger with anger, is sometimes it is old reaction to a current situation that "looks" the same; but isn't. Additionally, anger takes a lot out of us. So understanding clearly what is going on, and managing our response, is critical.
Guilt
Guilt arises when you feel you might have taken advantage of someone else, or done something "wrong". Broken some rule.
For me, guilt and shame are closely aligned, and are often part of the 'trip' laid on one by some forms of Christianity. The idea that a child can be born with 'orginal sin' seems ludicrous. It starts us off with a negative before we've even had a chance to exercise our free will.
Additionally, guilt and shame are often used to manipulate people to conform and live by someone else's rules.
Examine carefully why you might feel guilt or shame, as you may not have actually done anything "wrong". Is someone trying to shame you into doing something they want you to do or be? Consider carefully your rights and obligations. Chose what is healthy for yourself. Don't beat yourself up because someone may be disappointed about you looking after yourself, for your own emotional health. We need to be protective of ourselves and create healthy boundaries.
Be prepared to suffer the displeasure of others in order to be true to yourself.
To be continued...
Shame
Shame is caused by a loss of self-esteem, usually through an unfavourable comparison with someone else.
Shame can be experienced in a group (as when you fluff your lines in a play) or alone (as when you envy something someone else has).
In its extreme form, shame can become humiliation, causing those who experience it to withdraw completely, avoiding the scrutiny of others.
Shame is one of those almost useless emotions. It feels terrible; but as discussed earlier in this blog, it serves little purpose to compare ourselves with others. We can never know the entirety of what they are going through. And although it may seem they are doing better, somehow, in the moment; there is much we don't see and don't know about another's life.
No one gets out of Earth School without lessons. You have no way of knowing another's life, so it is futile to compare.
Anger
Anger occurs when you feel victimized. When you feel wronged.
As with all emotions, anger runs the full spectrum from minor irritations or annoyance, to full-blown fury or rage.
Whether we are merely irritated, or furious, it is unpleasant emotion that tells us something is wrong. There are times when anger is an appropriate emotion; but it is the one that can get us in the most trouble, socially. It is the one emotion for which there are numerous anger management workshops.
The real danger with anger, is sometimes it is old reaction to a current situation that "looks" the same; but isn't. Additionally, anger takes a lot out of us. So understanding clearly what is going on, and managing our response, is critical.
Guilt
Guilt arises when you feel you might have taken advantage of someone else, or done something "wrong". Broken some rule.
For me, guilt and shame are closely aligned, and are often part of the 'trip' laid on one by some forms of Christianity. The idea that a child can be born with 'orginal sin' seems ludicrous. It starts us off with a negative before we've even had a chance to exercise our free will.
Additionally, guilt and shame are often used to manipulate people to conform and live by someone else's rules.
Examine carefully why you might feel guilt or shame, as you may not have actually done anything "wrong". Is someone trying to shame you into doing something they want you to do or be? Consider carefully your rights and obligations. Chose what is healthy for yourself. Don't beat yourself up because someone may be disappointed about you looking after yourself, for your own emotional health. We need to be protective of ourselves and create healthy boundaries.
Be prepared to suffer the displeasure of others in order to be true to yourself.
To be continued...
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