Rainer Maria Rilke

I have read a number of books on Creativity over the past year, and will probably write more on that topic this coming winter.

I feel there is something key and intrinsic to the human spirit and healing that can be found in creative activities and would like to explore this further.

Along that line of thinking, I would like to consider the life and work of Rainer Maria Rilke.

I remember reading his poetry in my 20s and being touched by his work.  

I've been brought to consider Rilke again, as he was mentioned in a tribute to W.H. Auden I was reading.  I picked up his biography, and have just completed his Letters to a Young Poet.

There are aspects of Rilke's life and his responses to life, similar to my own.  As I read, I began to wonder if he didn't also suffer from BPD, or some aspect of mental illness.  At the very least, he is a "sensitive".

Like myself, he has lived the life of a peregrinator...seldom, it seems, finding a place he felt at home...comfortable enough to write and work.

He complains often of his surroundings and the noise; of not feeling well with flu-like symptoms of lassitude.

And although he was married, he seldom spent time with, or lived with his wife.

What I like in his advice to the young poet in Letters, is how he encourages the young artist to embrace his solitude.  To be in Nature.

He advises the young poet how to sit with his sadness, with his emotions.  How to let those emotions "grow" one; how to integrate them into one's self.

"I believe that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension that we find paralyzing because we no longer hear our surprised feelings living.  Because we are alone with the alien thing that has entered our self; because everything intimate and accustomed is for an instant, taken away; because we stand in the middle of a transition where we cannot remain standing.

For this reason the sadness too passes...

And this is why it is so important to be lonely and attentive when one is sad: because...the more still, more patient and more open we are when we are sad, so much the deeper and so much the more unswervingly does the "new" go into us, so much the better, do we make it ours..."

[Emphasis, my own.]

I find Rilke's advice on how to enter those deep and lonely times very helpful, as part of the process of what creates our inner lives, what helps grow us.  Rather than running away from feeling bad, or alone, Rilke sees this as a necessary process in becoming an artist; in the creative process.

As such, to be embraced.  To be "sat with".  To be accepted.

Perhaps if we had this approach as a society, and as individuals, we would come to deeper truths; more lasting and profound growth.

To pause.  To be alone.  To observe.  To accept.  To thereby grow and create.

As difficult and unconventional as Rilke's life seems to have been, I think he lived his own advice which enabled him to create.

I am inspired through his words to see my illness from a more positive perspective, from which true growth and lasting art works may emerge.

Creativity - Introduction

I've always thought of creativity as a "spark of the Divine" in all of us.  I believe we all have creativity in us, and that, in fact, we need to express ourselves and our unique take on the world in order to embrace happiness; in order to be healthy.

Creativity has such a broader spectrum than the world of fine arts and entertainment.  It's how we put ourselves together: our style.  How we decorate our homes, make a meal, or a garden.  How we build things.  How we solve problems.  The impulse to create is in every aspect of our being.

Looking at early archeology, it appears that each person in a tribe had their own style or variation in decoration, their "mark".  Everyone personalized their dwellings, their clothing, their daily utensils--even their bodies, with tattoos.

When we began to organize ourselves along the lines of "division of labour" much of that individual expression got lost, and handed over to those "who could do it best". (Or, more quickly, more functionally, at a lower cost, etc.)

So much so, that during my lifetime, at least, very few of us felt we were "talented"; or felt confident enough to express the creative impulse. During times of hardship, the arts are cut back and seen as frivolous.  When, in fact, studies show that times of economic severity is when we most need new ideas and approaches.  That the brain needs to play and rest, as much as it needs to work.
                                                      ~~~   

For those of us with mental illness, I wonder if creative acts could play a role in healing. Integrating.  Helping us be less broken; more whole.  Feel more fulfilled.

As someone with BPD, perhaps some form of creative activity will help me form/define my identity?  That illusive core self that I don't seem to have, or that I seem unable to enclose in a permeable boundary necessary for healthy relationships.

Will creative activity help me integrate my sensory inputs?  Help me give things different weights and meanings, so that I don't get so overwhelmed?

What is the therapeutic value of creative expression, and can it help with BPD?

Individual Factors - Learning Strengths

Continuing with the book: Growing up Resilient...

Learning Strengths

Okay.  Indicators are, that intelligence is a positive factor in resilience.  I have often thought the opposite.  I envied people who seemed less intelligent than I, because I thought they didn't see or understand all the things I saw and absorbed=which was equivalent to my unhappiness and despair.

However, as we now know, there are many kinds of intelligence.  And as in Darwin's quote from yesterday, it doesn't matter how intelligent we are if we haven't learned how to adapt.

What are the resilience intelligence factors?  Creativity--seeing more than one solution to a problem.  Creativity can also help in seeing the problem in a different way--reframing, changing perspective.

Problem-solving itself.  Being able to think things through to outcomes.  Weighing the pros and cons.  Setting goals.  Setting realistic limitations and expectations.  Being able to cope with time-lines and measurable results.  Using failures or less than optimum results as lessons and feedback to redefine the process.

Challenge=Mastery.  This is so necessary at every time in our lives.  Whether we are children or adults, we need to be adequately challenged and stimulated to grow and overcome.  To feel alive.  To be well.  And, as we take on challenges appropriate to our ability, we can overcome and achieve mastery.  With mastery, comes happiness and experience, on which we can build towards taking on greater challenges.

I think what has happened for me in my past, is that I took on challenges that were greater than what I could realistically achieve--especially with my mental illness, which was undiagnosed and untreated at the time.  So, of course I crashed.  I wasn't able to do it, and I beat myself up.  Contributing to the frequent downward spirals from which I suffered.

What I can do now is to first, gear down.  Slow down and find the level of activity in my life where I can achieve balance.  Then, taking baby steps, add some challenges where I may not excel, and where it may not matter.  I need some practice with not being perfect.

And/or add some challenges in areas where I have failed in the past, and take baby steps.  E.g. Instead of registering in a program, take just one course and see how that goes.

I may never be able to carry the full load of life which other people seem able to carry.  But to be healthy and continue to grow, I need to continue to challenge myself to the levels I can handle or achieve.

Humour.  Some forms of humour are amazingly intelligent requiring great agility of the mind.  If we can see everyday things in an unusual way and learn to laugh at our own idiosyncrasies, we can often overcome many obstacles.  Besides, laughing makes us feel better.

And finally, social intelligence and emotional intelligence figure in here somewhere.  More on this next posting.

Soul III - Spirituality

I have many issues with organized religion, such as judging, shunning and elitism; the denigration of women; narrowness of perspective, rejection of homosexuals, etc. I recognize my need to express these issues, as they hurt and disturb me deeply.  But this blog is not the forum for that.  At least not at this point.

Consequently, I would like to stay on track and return to the practices of happiness as presented in Sonja Lyubomirsky's book, The How of Happiness. She takes look at spirituality which she defines as: search for the sacred, self-transcendence.


It's about finding meaning in your life and daily activities, feeling connected to something larger than yourself.  This can be done alone or with others, with or without a formal approach.  However, the benefits are the same as belonging to an organized religion--without the downside of having to conform or be excluded.


I've talked about the benefits of meditation and mindfulness earlier in this blog and I really feel that however one practices spirituality, it can be an important aspect of getting well and being healthy.  Feeling more grateful and in awe of daily blessings, or nature; slowing down and being mindful; looking for the lessons when negative things happen--all these practices can help change the way we think about things towards a healthier interpretation and perspective, helping to improve our coping abilities.

However you do it, try to connect with meaning and purpose in your life.  Meditation is one way; creative expression another.  I've always thought of human creativity as sparks of the divine.  One's work, paid or volunteer, can also create meaning and connection.


Find something that suits you and practice it.  Baby steps towards happiness.

"Flow" & Creativity

I've been thinking a lot about "flow". It seems to be an important component in creativity, meditation, physical and mental mastery that all humans crave.

I've thought back to times in my life when I have achieved flow without the aid of drugs or alcohol.

Sailing comes to mind.  There is that moment of perfect mastery.  With your hand on the rudder, the sails taunt with wind, in total  silent synchronicity with the elements on a sparkling sunny day.  There was nothing like it to take me away.

I imagine rock climbing, scaling the side of mountain, a rock face; focused on that next hand hold, that next toe niche must also have a similar feel of mastery.

I used to organize special events.  I know the feeling of pulling off a near perfect event, with hundreds of people.  Me, as the silent, behind-the-scenes conductor.  Having thought of everything, anticipating every possible glitch.  Everyone doing their jobs according to plan.  My skills set in communicating and organizing, meeting and matching the task at hand.  Flow in the moment and a deep sense of satisfaction, mastery.

Even creating a beautiful garden, pruning a bush just right, painting a picture, throwing a pot, painting a room a beautiful shade, playing a concerto, building something.  I imagine all these thing can create a sense of flow.

And aside from "doing", I think through meditation or prayer, it is possible to connect with spirit in a way that surpasses daily life in something Lyubomirsky calls "superflow".

At the same time, I am aware of activities that I'm certain create flow, but which can be very damaging when done to excess.

I imagine gaming can create a feeling of mastery and satisfaction as one moves from level to level in the game, pitting one's skills against the the game designer's mind; learning new skills which allow one to move forward in the game.

However, I've seen what excessive gaming can do.  It takes people away from their families.  It seems to compel people to stay up all night, begin to miss work.  The fantasy world of the game gives one a feeling of effectiveness one may not have have in their actual lives.

I can see gaming being used as a tool of distraction--a tool we all need to have in our belts in some form, as we cope with life's vagaries.  And I'm certain it creates flow.  But as with everything, balance is also a state we must seek.

I've also observed artists, who while creating incredible works of art, neglect their children.  Ignore their partners.  Neglect their financial obligations and even their own physical health.

What is "a good life" after all?  Surely it is one where we can fulfill ourselves and our potential; but not at the expense of others.  Perhaps people who have found flow in their work which will ill suit them for being parents should be careful in making that choice.

So a cautionary note about flow.  Yes, we should seek ways of increasing flow in our lives; whether it be through cleaning the house, our jobs, creating a work of art, meditation--but not become addicted to it to the point of neglecting ourselves and others.  Flow is a practice, another tool which can increase happiness, which can improve the quality of or lives; but all things in balance and in health. Or, as the medical profession might say: To do no harm.