Creative Recovery VI - Tools for Change: Awareness & Mindfulness

In the Work of Change (27 December post) suggestions 1 - 10 are basically about becoming aware and mindful in our lives.  We can't change what we don't acknowledge.

For me, learning to listen to myself and my emotions, rather than stuffing them or running away from them, has been a huge step.  Researching and recording things I notice about myself, my interactions and responses; attending workshops and programs designed to help with mental illness; reading; trying different coping tools from aromatherapy to meditation to exercise--all these things help with managing the changes I need to make and re-programming myself.

Practice awareness:

1) Pay attention to your thoughts and learn how to manage them.

2) Notice your anxiety.  How and when it surfaces.  Learn techniques to manage it.

3) Creating meaning in our lives is critical for everyone, especially creative people.  Pay attention to how you create meaning in your life, and try to work more of that into your day-to-day activities.  Be aware there will be times of "meaning crises"--when it is difficult to see or understand the meaning of what is happening.  Learn how to overcome or live through those moments of meaninglessness and re-inject your life with purpose--however small.

4) Pay attention to your emotions and honour them.  Sometimes all you can do is "sit through" the feelings.  They will eventually pass, like a cloud passing over the sun.

5) Practice risk assessment and management.  Be aware of when you know you will be stressed or anxious and have some strategies in place to cope.

6) Take charge of your attitude.  Know that you control how you think or interpret/frame things.  Chose how you want to be, how you would like to feel, then work towards that.

Mindfulness Practice:

We hear this recommended over and over again as a tool for managing so many human diseases; but how many of us actually practice mindfulness on a daily basis?

Even when I know meditation helps me--sometimes I forget to practice it until I'm almost jumping out of my skin.  Vibrating internally.

Or, I go through periods of time when I practice daily...then my practice drops off again, until I realize I'm in some sort of panic.

One of the things I like about practicing mindfulness, is that there are so many ways of practicing.  Meditation comes in so many forms, there are walking meditations, listening meditations, guided meditations.

Meditations where you empty your mind.  Meditations where you focus on one thing (a chant, or a candle flame, or a flower).  Meditations for all different periods of time--from the duration of a few deep breaths to an hour or more.

Mindfulness can come in eating slowly and enjoying something deeply with gratitude.  Looking at a beautiful work of art.  Even working on a craft intently.

There are so many ways in which we can create mindfulness in our daily lives.  As creative people we can find/create ways to "connect" to that source of peace and gratitude in ways that will keep us engaged and grounded.

Adaptability & Resilience

Adaptability: Ability of an entity or organism to alter itself or its responses to changing circumstance or environment.  Adaptability demonstrates the ability to learn from experience and improve the chances of survival and/or thriving.

Resilience: 1. The ability to recover quickly from illness, change or misfortune; buoyancy. 2. The property of a material that enables it to resume its original shape or position after being bent, stretched, or compressed; elasticity.

Adaptability and resilience are two different, but related attributes.

I have observed a lack of resilience repeatedly in my life.  Like the rat mentioned earlier in this blog (post: December 8th, 2010) I seem to have no whiskers, give up and sink to the bottom.

Why does a sister coming from the same environment seem to have these two attributes in spades and I don't?

How is it, that people who have gone through far worse life experiences than I, not only survive; but thrive?  Whereas I, with lesser life challenges have wanted to die?

A graph in one of the Psychology of Happiness books stuck in my head, and I have tried to reproduce it below:

I don't know how well you can see this graph; but the idea is, that life goes along, our well-being fluctuates between normal parameters. Then something traumatic happens.  Something "bad".  From this point forward, there will be those who never recover; those who go down briefly, and then recover enough to carry on--but at a point of well-being lower than originally--Survivors.

Then, there are those who may go down initially; but who somehow rise above the traumatic event and do even better than before--Thrivers.

How does this happen?  Are there factors we can assimilate to make our lives better?  Can we learn how to thrive?  Rather than wanting to give up and die?

Over the coming weeks, I'll be reading and researching to see if I can discover the key to thriving, post trauma.  What constitutes a resilient person?

Transforming Perfectionism III

Some of the advice given in Domar's book (Be happy without being perfect) consits of advice given to nearly all forms of mental illness patients.

Get control of your thoughts

Easier said than done; but I think we can all learn to recognize when we are ruminating, catastrophizing, indulging in black and white thinking, focusing on the negative, judging, excessively critical, not giving things their proper weight.

We know when we are taking things too personally; when we are beginning to obsess.

So how do we stop doing that?

Here are some of the suggested tools:

Mindfullness

However you can do it, step back and gain perspective.  Whether this is through meditation, distracting yourself with something else and then coming back to the problem, even sharing with a counselor or a group--will help change the course of our rote thoughts and introduce thoughts closer to reality.

We are all rational people; but with irrational thoughts.  Catching ourselves in
act of irrational old mind tapes can be done; and our course of thinking changed.

Self-care

When we become obessed with things, we frequently neglect ourselves.  Self-care is part of stepping back and taking stock, to make certain we are doing things that are comforting and soothing for us; as well as stacking the cards in our favour physically.

I consider remembering to take my medications as prescribed a form of self-care.  I get tired of people telling me I don't eat properly; but I know I can take supplements which I understand are good for the brain: things like the Omega 3s and Vitamin B complexes.

Doing your best to get rest is more important than I ever imagined.  I can't imagine how hyper I must have been when I was an insomniac.  No wonder things appeared so overwhelming and out of perspective.

Exercise.  Whether it is sitting in the jacuzzi or lifting weights.  Yoga. Going for a half hour walk.  Do something good for your body.

We all need a strategy for when we get agitated and anxious.  A "shot in the locker" so to speak.  We need ways of calming ourselves, that involve as many of the senses as possible.  Whether this is listening to soft music, going for a massage, getting hair cut/coifed, a hot bath with lavendar--we all need to discover what works for us--that doesn't involve old self-harm tactics.

Problem-solving

There are numerous books written about problem solving strategies; but most of the basic tools involving writing things down.  Sometimes when it is in black and white in front of me, the realities vs the irrationalities of what has been rumbling around in my head will pop out.

Whether one uses a white board, a large pad of paper, a computer--whatever works to lay it out, try:

Journaling; listing pros and cons; making bubble charts; cloud diagarams--be creative.  Try to have fun with it.  Use colours.

Objectifying may help make it less personal.

Get a hobby

Going from my own experience, perfectionists are pretty intense people.  They seldom do something just for fun or to relax.  And certainly not anything they might not be good at.

Perhaps a tactic of achieving balance and practice with "failing" is to take up something just for fun.  Gardening, painting, photography, wood-working, dance lessons, walking dogs, kayaking or sailing...the list of possibilities is endless.  It can be as private or as public as you want to make it.

DBT Therapy - Mindfulness

I think I first became aware of Mindfulness through Eckhart Tolle's book, Be Here Now.

It's a lot about slowing down, savouring the moment.  Being present. 

In an effort to cobble together a program for myself (in lieu of being able to get in for DBT therapy) I have found the following which I can recommend:

1. Eckart Tolle's book.
2. Jon Kabat-Zinn - CD
3. Joan Borysenko - CD


I find I like directed meditations; but one can also light a candle, listen to soft music, focus on a flower in a vase...take a walk in nature, eat something fabulous slowly and mindfully...

The ways of getting "connected" are endless.  The important thing is to set aside some time to actually do it.  As a practice.

It's crazy how I sometimes avoid calming myself down and practicing what I know to do.  But I keep trying...bringing myself back to the practice.

I am also looking for a "mindfulness" group to go to once a week, which I haven't found as yet.

As an introvert, it takes a lot of energy for me to go to groups; but I find it  very helpful when I make the effort.  There is something about doing "my work" together with others who are similar; yet different.  'Helps me remember I am not alone, no matter how I'm feeling.