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Monday, December 6, 2010

Getting diagnosed II

There are other factors critical to getting a diagnosis, and these factors are contingent on me.

Humility:  I have to be willing to accept whatever help is offered in whatever form it comes, whether I think it applies to me or not.

Openness:  I have to stop running and hiding.  I have to be open about everything, and open my mind to whatever therapy, counselling or situation is offered to help me get well.  Motto: Try everything and try to garner something from it. 

Stop trying to hide my illness or deny it.

Acceptance: Start where I am and work from there.  Baby steps.

Speak:  Don't let things get swept under the carpet or bottled up. Speak up when things don't feel right.  (In as kind and gentle way as I can manage--skills I need to learn.)

Motivation: I am committed to seeing this through and doing whatever I have to do to get well.  This is not short-term.  Getting well is my work.  It is my focus.  I do my best to finish whatever program I start.

Accept Responsibility: This is something I started to do after my second marriage broke up.  Stop blaming others for what is going wrong in my life.  Stop blaming family, old boyfriends, events, therapists, etc.  While I still look for reasons and understanding about the past--attempting to learn the lessons--how I interpret and deal with the external world is up to me.

This, of course, is made more difficult by having BPD; but I anticipate therapy will help me learn to cope with life more constructively.

                                                       

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