Managing Stress, Distress, & Trauma III

There are other exercises/practices Lyubomirsky suggests in her book:

1) Journaling

This is a practice commonly prescribed as a therapy or creativity tool.

Originally, researchers thought it worked due to emotional catharsis.  It is now thought that the critical mechanism may be the nature of the writing process itself, which helps process, understand, come to terms with, make sense of our trauma.  Even attributing positive value/meaning.

In a clinical research trial in Montreal, trauma victims were asked to come into the clinic for six consecutive weeks and journal in detail about their experience for about half an hour.  Each visit they were asked to read what they had written out loud.

By the end of the six weeks, the trauma had taken a back seat in their lives.  One participant described it as listening to something that had happened to someone else.  He knew it had happened to him; but it had lost its emotional sting in his life.  He became "unstuck" and was able to manage his emotions.

2) Challenge your negative thoughts.

How does this thought or belief serve me?
In the long term, will it matter?
Is there another explanation?
If this is true, what is the worst that could happen?  What would be the consequence?  What is the likelihood of that?  How would I cope?
What is the best possible thing that could happen? Likelihood?
If this is true, what is the lesson?
What plans do I need to make?
Acceptance.

3) Forgiveness

When someone "does us wrong" the natural reaction is to avoid, or to want revenge.

The degree to which we either stop avoiding, or stop wanting revenge, is the degree to which we have forgiven.

Remember, forgiveness is for oneself; not for the other person.

Practices of forgiveness:

- Remember all the times people have extended forgiveness to you.
- Write a letter of apology for something you have done, or a letter of forgiveness to someone you need to forgive.  Whether you send either of these is up to you.  It is the act of forgiveness that heals.

- Imagine either receiving or granting forgiveness.
- Practice empathy.  Try to see the person as a whole, not just in the instance of the injustice against you.

- Try to attribute a charitable reason for the person's behaviour.
- Try writing the letter you'd like to receive from your transgressor.

- Don't dwell on it.  Use the tools from you have to change and control your thinking.

The exercises in this post can be hard; but these are steps towards being happier.  There is certainly a time to feel our pain, to mourn.  But when these unhappy feelings take over our lives and get us "stuck" it is good to have some tools and practices to gain control again.