Have you ever been so involved in something you were doing that you lost track of time? 'Felt completely in the moment? 'Felt completely connected?
This state is something called "flow". (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)
Flow: A state of intense absorption and involvement with the present moment. You're totally immersed in what you're doing, fully concentrating and unaware of yourself. [Or, I would argue, deeply aware.] You are challenged, engrossed, stretching your skills and expertise. When in flow, you feel strong and effective, at the peak of your abilities. Alert, in control, doing the activity for the sheer sake of doing it.
(From Lyubomirsky's book: The How of Happiness)
In the '60s, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi was studying creativity and noticed that artists commonly experience this state. He argues that a happy life has a balance between skills and challenges.
When our skills are adequate to the challenge we feel happy, effective, in control. When our skills are inadequate, we feel anxious, overwhelmed, frustrated, depressed.
When the challenge isn't great enough, we feel bored.
I would argue, that those of us with BPD (and perhaps other mental health illnesses) end up in despair due to our lack of basic life skills in coping with daily life. Through whatever influenced our formation, we don't seem to come to the table with the tools other people have. We also seem to perceive the world differently, and have often come up with adaptations that, in the end, don't serve us well. Our life skills set seem inadequate to the task of living.
At the same time, many of us have high intelligence needs, find ourselves frequently bored, and consequently, disengage.
I haven't heard anyone talk about this, but I conjecture that taking drugs or even cutting oneself, can create that feeling of flow. Feeling connected in the moment, calm, peaceful, out of time, in control. Mistakenly perhaps, and temporary, but the feeling is still there.
Now, what is it that healthy, happy people do to achieve the same state? And, can we emulate that?
This state is something called "flow". (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)
Flow: A state of intense absorption and involvement with the present moment. You're totally immersed in what you're doing, fully concentrating and unaware of yourself. [Or, I would argue, deeply aware.] You are challenged, engrossed, stretching your skills and expertise. When in flow, you feel strong and effective, at the peak of your abilities. Alert, in control, doing the activity for the sheer sake of doing it.
(From Lyubomirsky's book: The How of Happiness)
In the '60s, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi was studying creativity and noticed that artists commonly experience this state. He argues that a happy life has a balance between skills and challenges.
When our skills are adequate to the challenge we feel happy, effective, in control. When our skills are inadequate, we feel anxious, overwhelmed, frustrated, depressed.
When the challenge isn't great enough, we feel bored.
I would argue, that those of us with BPD (and perhaps other mental health illnesses) end up in despair due to our lack of basic life skills in coping with daily life. Through whatever influenced our formation, we don't seem to come to the table with the tools other people have. We also seem to perceive the world differently, and have often come up with adaptations that, in the end, don't serve us well. Our life skills set seem inadequate to the task of living.
At the same time, many of us have high intelligence needs, find ourselves frequently bored, and consequently, disengage.
I haven't heard anyone talk about this, but I conjecture that taking drugs or even cutting oneself, can create that feeling of flow. Feeling connected in the moment, calm, peaceful, out of time, in control. Mistakenly perhaps, and temporary, but the feeling is still there.
Now, what is it that healthy, happy people do to achieve the same state? And, can we emulate that?
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