Perfectionism

While I am uncertain if perfectionism is a symptom of BPD, I know that being a perfectionist can cause undue stress in one's life and unrealistic expectations.

I am all for having high standards and quality control; but when those standards become so high no one, including myself, can actually achieve them; or if ever, only rarely, I have to ask myself how functional holding myself and others to a standard of "perfect" can be?  What purpose does it serve? Does this add to my life or does it make it more difficult?

Earlier this year I attended an outpatient day program for mental health.  One of the topics addressed was perfectionism.  Imagine sitting in a room, where instead of being the only huffy disparaging perfectionist in sight, nearly everyone present self-identified as a perfectionist.  I would extrapolate, from the high number of perfectionists present, that perfectionism may be a contributing factor to mental illness.

Not all of the descriptors of perfectionism are true for me.  For example, I see myself as usually decisive and don't procrastinate.  I can come to the place where I think: Yes. This is perfect.  I don't want to touch a thing.  And it feels very good, "right" inside when that happens.  And most of the time, I'm not striving for external approval; instead, I'm trying to achieve the vision I have in my head for a project--for that feeling of "Yes. This is right."  When that happens, I have a wonderful sense of satisfaction.

Even the researchers differ in their views of perfectionism. It seems that it is good to strive for excellence; but not to obsess or constantly give everything the same weight.

I'd like to write about the things that "speak" to me about perfectionism: both the positive and negative aspects, in an effort to understand how this may contribute to my disorder, making my life more difficult.  What can I do to diminish the negative aspects of perfectionism? While, at the same time, celebrate what I feel are the positive aspects.  What I can take away from having all this extra sensitivity to life?  What I can keep, in a healthy way, of something I think rather defines me?

[I will provide a list of researchers and publications at the end of this section re: Perfectionism for those who would like to read more; rather than trying to provide references, citations, footnotes as I explore this topic.]