In coming posts, I'd like to explore some of the tools the authors of Creative Recovery suggest in their book, starting with the last suggestion on their list: Create a support network.
Use Support Groups
I completely understand anyone who is reluctant to attend a support group. I tried several over the years, and always felt they weren't for me, for many reasons.
All I can say, is: don't give up. You will eventually find a group that suits you. And having that safe, support network will enhance your ability to cope with life.
Here's what I have found worked for me in finding a group:
- The facilitator is professionally trained with many years of working with dual diagnosis clients. Her expertise helps a lot in not letting things get out of hand, or unhealthy comments go unchallenged. Additionally, her positive comments and encouragement, the ability to re-frame experiences, creates a truly therapeutic setting and experience.
- As it turns out, although we come from all walks of life, most people in my group are middle-aged, diagnosed late in life. We've had common life experiences of careers, family, etc. We face very similar challenges, even though we have different psychiatric diagnoses.
- There is an incredible wealth of knowledge and intelligence sitting at the table. I've tapped into all sorts of resources--practical, therapeutic, philosophical--through this group.
While I'm on this topic, I'll tell you what didn't work for me:
- Groups that are too large, where two or three people take over the group with their crises nearly every session. (About 6 to 9 people max, is a good size for me. Larger groups of 16 to 20 people have been useless to me.)
- Groups that don't have good professional facilitators, where people get away with saying disruptive, unhealthy things (which are often better left for one-on-one therapy) haven't worked.
- Groups having no homogeneous factor, other than the illness.
- Groups in inhospitable environments that effect my allergies or sensory defensive disorder (e.g. places with bright lights that can't be dimmed).
- Groups that reminded me of the Church I grew up in and have left. While I understand these Christian-like groups may work for many people; they are anathematic for me.
~~~
Being a private person myself, it was hard for me to talk about my struggles and even my successes, in a group setting. However, building trust over time and the bravery of others in my group, have helped me realize that I'm not so alone; that many of my experiences, which made me feel so different and alienated, are in fact, commonly experienced by people like me.
Knowing that I'm not the only one "out there" who feels this way and has these struggles has helped me so much. It is important as humans to feel connected, and the group I attend helps: not only with sharing our feelings and challenges; but also by hearing about techniques of coping and managing life situations, emotions, etc. We often brainstorm solutions together.
If you can find a good support group, it can become a valuable lifeline in recovery.
~~~
Rule of thumb advice: I think it is wise not to date or befriend anyone in your group or bring them to your home until you've been attending for at least a year. And perhaps not even then. One must find a balance between your therapeutic world and your personal world.
There is a tendency to want to embrace others with similar life issues; but this can turn into "the blind leading the blind". You can bring each other down, as much as support each other. So proceed with caution.
Use Support Groups
I completely understand anyone who is reluctant to attend a support group. I tried several over the years, and always felt they weren't for me, for many reasons.
All I can say, is: don't give up. You will eventually find a group that suits you. And having that safe, support network will enhance your ability to cope with life.
Here's what I have found worked for me in finding a group:
- The facilitator is professionally trained with many years of working with dual diagnosis clients. Her expertise helps a lot in not letting things get out of hand, or unhealthy comments go unchallenged. Additionally, her positive comments and encouragement, the ability to re-frame experiences, creates a truly therapeutic setting and experience.
- As it turns out, although we come from all walks of life, most people in my group are middle-aged, diagnosed late in life. We've had common life experiences of careers, family, etc. We face very similar challenges, even though we have different psychiatric diagnoses.
- There is an incredible wealth of knowledge and intelligence sitting at the table. I've tapped into all sorts of resources--practical, therapeutic, philosophical--through this group.
While I'm on this topic, I'll tell you what didn't work for me:
- Groups that are too large, where two or three people take over the group with their crises nearly every session. (About 6 to 9 people max, is a good size for me. Larger groups of 16 to 20 people have been useless to me.)
- Groups that don't have good professional facilitators, where people get away with saying disruptive, unhealthy things (which are often better left for one-on-one therapy) haven't worked.
- Groups having no homogeneous factor, other than the illness.
- Groups in inhospitable environments that effect my allergies or sensory defensive disorder (e.g. places with bright lights that can't be dimmed).
- Groups that reminded me of the Church I grew up in and have left. While I understand these Christian-like groups may work for many people; they are anathematic for me.
~~~
Being a private person myself, it was hard for me to talk about my struggles and even my successes, in a group setting. However, building trust over time and the bravery of others in my group, have helped me realize that I'm not so alone; that many of my experiences, which made me feel so different and alienated, are in fact, commonly experienced by people like me.
Knowing that I'm not the only one "out there" who feels this way and has these struggles has helped me so much. It is important as humans to feel connected, and the group I attend helps: not only with sharing our feelings and challenges; but also by hearing about techniques of coping and managing life situations, emotions, etc. We often brainstorm solutions together.
If you can find a good support group, it can become a valuable lifeline in recovery.
~~~
Rule of thumb advice: I think it is wise not to date or befriend anyone in your group or bring them to your home until you've been attending for at least a year. And perhaps not even then. One must find a balance between your therapeutic world and your personal world.
There is a tendency to want to embrace others with similar life issues; but this can turn into "the blind leading the blind". You can bring each other down, as much as support each other. So proceed with caution.
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