Secure Attachment Disruption
In anything I've read about BPD thus far, the cause put forward by Bateman and Fonagy (that of a lack of secure attachment) rings true to me.
I can see any number of circumstances contributing to a disruption in the circuit of secure attachment. i.e. It may not necessarily be due to intentional neglect on the part of the parent.
For example, a more demanding child born into the family while the child is still an infant. A disruption in the household configuration, such as a breakdown in the parents' relationship. A preoccupation on the part of the parent due to external factors such as their job; or, a loss of income or a change in housing.
Internal factors such as the state of mind of the care-taker in the first two years of childhood: things such as various forms of mental illness, depression, post-partum depression. Even emulating poor parenting models of the preceding generation, where parents were cautioned against spoiling their children with too much attention, could result in "benign neglect".
In everything I've read previously, the research mentioned that BPD can occur equally in children with traumatic childhoods and those with "normal" childhoods. However, if one looks closely, even at "good" families, there may have been some event or occurrence during the infancy of the person with BPD that interfered with the child's development of secure attachment and triggered the disorder.
Care in becoming a parent
Something that is close to my heart, and I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't mention it:
Take care in choosing to become a parent. I think those of us with mental illness need to be especially careful. We need to consider the genetic inheritance we bring to offspring; the patterns of behaviour we may be passing on. Our inability, due to illness, to consistently "be there" for our children.
For anyone, the stability of one's life; the material resources and parenting skills one brings to the table, are important to the welfare of children born.
If we don't consider that we have a choice in becoming a parent, or not; we may continue the cycle from which we have so suffered, ourselves. And speaking for myself, I would never want anyone else to go through what I have gone through, living with this inability to cope with the world around me.
In anything I've read about BPD thus far, the cause put forward by Bateman and Fonagy (that of a lack of secure attachment) rings true to me.
I can see any number of circumstances contributing to a disruption in the circuit of secure attachment. i.e. It may not necessarily be due to intentional neglect on the part of the parent.
For example, a more demanding child born into the family while the child is still an infant. A disruption in the household configuration, such as a breakdown in the parents' relationship. A preoccupation on the part of the parent due to external factors such as their job; or, a loss of income or a change in housing.
Internal factors such as the state of mind of the care-taker in the first two years of childhood: things such as various forms of mental illness, depression, post-partum depression. Even emulating poor parenting models of the preceding generation, where parents were cautioned against spoiling their children with too much attention, could result in "benign neglect".
In everything I've read previously, the research mentioned that BPD can occur equally in children with traumatic childhoods and those with "normal" childhoods. However, if one looks closely, even at "good" families, there may have been some event or occurrence during the infancy of the person with BPD that interfered with the child's development of secure attachment and triggered the disorder.
Care in becoming a parent
Something that is close to my heart, and I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't mention it:
Take care in choosing to become a parent. I think those of us with mental illness need to be especially careful. We need to consider the genetic inheritance we bring to offspring; the patterns of behaviour we may be passing on. Our inability, due to illness, to consistently "be there" for our children.
For anyone, the stability of one's life; the material resources and parenting skills one brings to the table, are important to the welfare of children born.
If we don't consider that we have a choice in becoming a parent, or not; we may continue the cycle from which we have so suffered, ourselves. And speaking for myself, I would never want anyone else to go through what I have gone through, living with this inability to cope with the world around me.
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