Continuing from the previous post regarding BPD modes of relationship functioning.
Emotionally Enmeshed Mode
In this mode of BPD relationships, there is no division between self and others. Everyone/everything has the same weight, meaning and intense involvement in the mind of the person and their life.
Source: MBT Training Workshop, Bateman & Fonagy, 2009
A person having this form of relationship structure will find themselves over involved in all of their relationships and the details of every context, as an extension of self. It is an "I am the centre of the Universe" way of being.
As every interaction is exceptionally intense and involved, having the same emotional/affective meaning, it is a volatile and exhausting way to live. Emotional regulation is nearly impossible. Life is overwhelming.
There are no boundaries between self and others. Expectations of others are unreasonably high. Due to intense attachments and unrealistic demands, rejection is easily perceived everywhere. There is a lot of "idealization and demonization" of others. Relationships move rapidly from acquaintance to intimacy to "dump or be dumped".
One's identity is lost in an other's, repeatedly. Thoughts are rigid and inflexible. It is difficult to accept the "bad and the good" in oneself and others.
Such a life is living hell. A roller coaster of emotional ups and downs, and inevitable relationship failure; which extends not only to partners and family; but to jobs, school and community. Huge deep depressions and anxiety. Feeling useless and incapable of living.
This is where I used to live.
Emotionally Enmeshed Mode
In this mode of BPD relationships, there is no division between self and others. Everyone/everything has the same weight, meaning and intense involvement in the mind of the person and their life.
Source: MBT Training Workshop, Bateman & Fonagy, 2009
A person having this form of relationship structure will find themselves over involved in all of their relationships and the details of every context, as an extension of self. It is an "I am the centre of the Universe" way of being.
As every interaction is exceptionally intense and involved, having the same emotional/affective meaning, it is a volatile and exhausting way to live. Emotional regulation is nearly impossible. Life is overwhelming.
There are no boundaries between self and others. Expectations of others are unreasonably high. Due to intense attachments and unrealistic demands, rejection is easily perceived everywhere. There is a lot of "idealization and demonization" of others. Relationships move rapidly from acquaintance to intimacy to "dump or be dumped".
One's identity is lost in an other's, repeatedly. Thoughts are rigid and inflexible. It is difficult to accept the "bad and the good" in oneself and others.
Such a life is living hell. A roller coaster of emotional ups and downs, and inevitable relationship failure; which extends not only to partners and family; but to jobs, school and community. Huge deep depressions and anxiety. Feeling useless and incapable of living.
This is where I used to live.
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