The Social Brain. Apparently, the part of the brain with social skills, language, etc. is the "new brain". This part of the brain developed later than our "flight or fight" portion, and has permitted us to survive and thrive as a species.
The importance of interactive skills was underscored to me recently, in a documentary about ancient climate change and the survival of early humans.
Through archaeological digs, they have found that the Neanderthals probably died out because they didn't develop the social skills for trading and helping each other during the last ice age. It is found that humans in the Russian steppes were able to survive through trading with each other, and went on to populate Europe after the ice age passed.
Barankin & Khanlou describe the resilient child as able to listen to others. Able to understand intentions and ideas. Affectionate. Assertive. Caring and empathetic. Having a sense of humour. Able to solve problems and conflicts. Able to communicate ideas and feelings.
The doctors describe how healthy social skills are acquired by children--mostly through imitating what they see and experience around them. For those of us who didn't "get" those skills, we have to learn some of this now.
As an introvert*, I tend to limit my contact with others and isolate when I'm not well. I'm beginning to realize how much I put myself at risk in terms of my mental health, by happily and unhappily, spending so much time alone.
Boundaries is a huge new territory for me. There weren't healthy boundaries in my home. When we haven't grown up with good social skills models, what can we do? One of the first times in my life I'm allowed to say what I need and want to say, in a respectful environment, is in the group I've been attending for the past year.
The more I read studies in the areas of Happiness, Resilience, Mental Health, the more I know that social networks and good social skills are part of our success as humans. And it would be better for me to try a little harder to be with other people.
As much as they have done studies which indicate that people who are tall and attractive earn more than those with more normal attributes; there are also studies indicating those who are extrovert, earn more and are happier.
So...it is better to be connected to the human family in some form. And, for people like me who aren't good at it, to practice. Perhaps in an organized setting like a therapy group. At least there, I am protected by confidentiality; and, if anyone says something they shouldn't, that might be harmful, the facilitator will step in. For me, it is a good start.
*Introvert: results from Myers & Briggs testing.
The importance of interactive skills was underscored to me recently, in a documentary about ancient climate change and the survival of early humans.
Through archaeological digs, they have found that the Neanderthals probably died out because they didn't develop the social skills for trading and helping each other during the last ice age. It is found that humans in the Russian steppes were able to survive through trading with each other, and went on to populate Europe after the ice age passed.
Barankin & Khanlou describe the resilient child as able to listen to others. Able to understand intentions and ideas. Affectionate. Assertive. Caring and empathetic. Having a sense of humour. Able to solve problems and conflicts. Able to communicate ideas and feelings.
The doctors describe how healthy social skills are acquired by children--mostly through imitating what they see and experience around them. For those of us who didn't "get" those skills, we have to learn some of this now.
As an introvert*, I tend to limit my contact with others and isolate when I'm not well. I'm beginning to realize how much I put myself at risk in terms of my mental health, by happily and unhappily, spending so much time alone.
Boundaries is a huge new territory for me. There weren't healthy boundaries in my home. When we haven't grown up with good social skills models, what can we do? One of the first times in my life I'm allowed to say what I need and want to say, in a respectful environment, is in the group I've been attending for the past year.
The more I read studies in the areas of Happiness, Resilience, Mental Health, the more I know that social networks and good social skills are part of our success as humans. And it would be better for me to try a little harder to be with other people.
As much as they have done studies which indicate that people who are tall and attractive earn more than those with more normal attributes; there are also studies indicating those who are extrovert, earn more and are happier.
So...it is better to be connected to the human family in some form. And, for people like me who aren't good at it, to practice. Perhaps in an organized setting like a therapy group. At least there, I am protected by confidentiality; and, if anyone says something they shouldn't, that might be harmful, the facilitator will step in. For me, it is a good start.
*Introvert: results from Myers & Briggs testing.
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