Relationships
Needless to say, perfectionism can ruin relationships; both personal and at work.
At home, the perfectionist is a kind of tyrant. Angry, dissatisfied, seldom pleased. The externals are more important than the heart.
In the workplace, the perfectionist has an air of superiority, stressed, having an edge, resentful about all the work they do, fearful about making a mistake. Sensitive about being criticized--while not hesitating at all to be critical of others.
Living with a perfectionist can be hell; because nothing will ever be "right" for them. Nothing will ever be good enough. Perfectionists are disapproving and nagging. Additionally, they don't really think well of themselves. Despite the air of superiority, they have low self and other acceptance. So how can a perfectionist ever really let anyone get close to them?
Working with a perfectionist is annoying. They don't inspire people, they dis-inspire. Certainly, they may excel and receive attention from superiors; but that serves to make others look bad and feel jealous. If a perfectionist is really obsessed, he or she may have low productivity due to excessive attention to detail, or not taking things on for fear of failure.
A perfectionist isn't someone you really want to be around or spend time with. We tend to alienate people.
Additionally, we tend to have shallow interpersonal relationships and/or tend to be loners. No one will ever measure up to our ideal--they will always have flaws or something wrong, on which basis, we reject them. We ourselves fear that if people get too close, they will see our flaws and reject us as well.
This is a vicious cycle with no happy ending. Until...we learn to drop some of these maladaptive dysfunction ways of thinking and behaving and begin to embrace the world as it is. Embrace ourselves as we are. And begin to believe the impossible: that we are okay, lovable human beings just as we are.
Just as you and I are sitting there/here breathing in and out, we are worthy. If we can believe that just being alive is an incredible gift and gives us a place in the Universe...then we can begin to move forward, shedding some of our perfectionist armour.
Needless to say, perfectionism can ruin relationships; both personal and at work.
At home, the perfectionist is a kind of tyrant. Angry, dissatisfied, seldom pleased. The externals are more important than the heart.
In the workplace, the perfectionist has an air of superiority, stressed, having an edge, resentful about all the work they do, fearful about making a mistake. Sensitive about being criticized--while not hesitating at all to be critical of others.
Living with a perfectionist can be hell; because nothing will ever be "right" for them. Nothing will ever be good enough. Perfectionists are disapproving and nagging. Additionally, they don't really think well of themselves. Despite the air of superiority, they have low self and other acceptance. So how can a perfectionist ever really let anyone get close to them?
Working with a perfectionist is annoying. They don't inspire people, they dis-inspire. Certainly, they may excel and receive attention from superiors; but that serves to make others look bad and feel jealous. If a perfectionist is really obsessed, he or she may have low productivity due to excessive attention to detail, or not taking things on for fear of failure.
A perfectionist isn't someone you really want to be around or spend time with. We tend to alienate people.
Additionally, we tend to have shallow interpersonal relationships and/or tend to be loners. No one will ever measure up to our ideal--they will always have flaws or something wrong, on which basis, we reject them. We ourselves fear that if people get too close, they will see our flaws and reject us as well.
This is a vicious cycle with no happy ending. Until...we learn to drop some of these maladaptive dysfunction ways of thinking and behaving and begin to embrace the world as it is. Embrace ourselves as we are. And begin to believe the impossible: that we are okay, lovable human beings just as we are.
Just as you and I are sitting there/here breathing in and out, we are worthy. If we can believe that just being alive is an incredible gift and gives us a place in the Universe...then we can begin to move forward, shedding some of our perfectionist armour.
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