Continuing with the book, Growing Resilient Children...
"We see the world, as we are." - Jewish proverb
For any of us who have been in therapy, we know very well how our thinking has contributed to our illness. As it is expressed in some groups: "stinking thinking".
The components for resilience in children are the same as those for happiness: positive thinking; optimism; looking forward to the future=hope + goals; persistence and work to see things through.
It sounds so Pollyanna. But I have become more and more aware of my own "mind traps"; my distorted thinking.
As someone has said: The universe is neither positive or negative; it just is. But we who suffer from depression, a negative self-concept, and a dark world view will tend to focus on the negative more than the equally present, positive. This is called "realistic pessimism". It's not that the negative things aren't necessarily there; it's just that we tend to seek them out to reinforce an already dismal weltanschauung.
One way of redressing this thinking is to seek out the positive through practices such as gratitude and re-framing. Are there alternative more positive interpretations of what I am observing?
One of the underpinnings of mental illness, I think, is that we have a tendency, or a filter, through which we view the world in a distorted way. That's why we end up feeling bad and why we try to work out our problems with maladaptive solutions or tools, sometimes with disastrous results. As in the quote above: we see the world, as we are--which is ill.
With BPD, as with any mental illness, I feel that the only way of sussing out, understanding and changing my distorted thinking is through professional intervention. I need someone trained, outside myself and my thinking, to help point out or pinpoint where I are going wrong, misreading situations. Where my "truth" may be a distortion of reality.
Through these sorts of professional interventions, and being open to them, we can change our way of thinking to more positive patterns=greater resilience, more hope, more happiness. Better coping and living skills. Better actions, decisions, behaviours.
It isn't Pollyanna. It is hard, consistent work. And that is reality. There is no magic, easy fix--as we who abused substances tried to implement.
I remember thinking that if I stopped drinking, everything would get easy. The world would reward me with life served on a silver platter. That I had solved my problem. (I think others who knew me thought that too; that if I would just not drink, I would be fine.)
When, in fact, if anything, although I rationally knew it was "better" not to drink, life was just life, as it is. With ups and downs and the same challenges as before. If anything, it was perhaps worse. Or very "flat". I couldn't use the same solutions and tools as I had before. And I was, and still am, a baby in retraining my mind. In identifying old thinking patterns, learning new
ways of thinking. New behaviours like meditation and self-care.
I am so grateful for the recognition of dual diagnosis in the Ontario mental health world. Without treating the underlying pathology causing the "stinking thinking" and consequent coping behaviours, there is little hope of getting well. There would always be relapse, depression and suicidal ideation.
At least now, I have a chance. We have a good chance.
"We see the world, as we are." - Jewish proverb
For any of us who have been in therapy, we know very well how our thinking has contributed to our illness. As it is expressed in some groups: "stinking thinking".
The components for resilience in children are the same as those for happiness: positive thinking; optimism; looking forward to the future=hope + goals; persistence and work to see things through.
It sounds so Pollyanna. But I have become more and more aware of my own "mind traps"; my distorted thinking.
As someone has said: The universe is neither positive or negative; it just is. But we who suffer from depression, a negative self-concept, and a dark world view will tend to focus on the negative more than the equally present, positive. This is called "realistic pessimism". It's not that the negative things aren't necessarily there; it's just that we tend to seek them out to reinforce an already dismal weltanschauung.
One way of redressing this thinking is to seek out the positive through practices such as gratitude and re-framing. Are there alternative more positive interpretations of what I am observing?
One of the underpinnings of mental illness, I think, is that we have a tendency, or a filter, through which we view the world in a distorted way. That's why we end up feeling bad and why we try to work out our problems with maladaptive solutions or tools, sometimes with disastrous results. As in the quote above: we see the world, as we are--which is ill.
With BPD, as with any mental illness, I feel that the only way of sussing out, understanding and changing my distorted thinking is through professional intervention. I need someone trained, outside myself and my thinking, to help point out or pinpoint where I are going wrong, misreading situations. Where my "truth" may be a distortion of reality.
Through these sorts of professional interventions, and being open to them, we can change our way of thinking to more positive patterns=greater resilience, more hope, more happiness. Better coping and living skills. Better actions, decisions, behaviours.
It isn't Pollyanna. It is hard, consistent work. And that is reality. There is no magic, easy fix--as we who abused substances tried to implement.
I remember thinking that if I stopped drinking, everything would get easy. The world would reward me with life served on a silver platter. That I had solved my problem. (I think others who knew me thought that too; that if I would just not drink, I would be fine.)
When, in fact, if anything, although I rationally knew it was "better" not to drink, life was just life, as it is. With ups and downs and the same challenges as before. If anything, it was perhaps worse. Or very "flat". I couldn't use the same solutions and tools as I had before. And I was, and still am, a baby in retraining my mind. In identifying old thinking patterns, learning new
ways of thinking. New behaviours like meditation and self-care.
I am so grateful for the recognition of dual diagnosis in the Ontario mental health world. Without treating the underlying pathology causing the "stinking thinking" and consequent coping behaviours, there is little hope of getting well. There would always be relapse, depression and suicidal ideation.
At least now, I have a chance. We have a good chance.
No comments:
Post a Comment