Personally, I feel the word "perfectionism" is an inherently negative word.
However, Flett and Hewitt posit that there is such a thing as "normal perfectionism" defined as:
"Striving for reasonable and realistic standards leading to a sense of self-satisfaction and enhanced self-esteem."
I think I would use some other term or phrase such as "doing one's best", "striving to excel"; rather than than using the word perfectionism in this context.
Then, there is what the researchers call "neurotic perfectionism" defined as:
"A tendency to strive for excessively high standards; motivated by fear of failure and/or a concern about disappointing others."
So, in other words, it is "normal" to want to be perfect; but "neurotic" to expect to be perfect.
I don't know if I agree with this. From my observation, there are people who have no concern whatsoever about being perfect themselves. I would suggest these are the "B" type personalities, who are happy to go with the flow, don't seem to have a lot of ambition, and certainly don't seem to attach themselves personally to outcomes.
They seem highly adaptable and happy. They seem to accept, not resist, and are quite comfortable people to be around--as long as I don't go putting high expectations on them. :)
Neurotic Perfectionism
One thing that is agreed, perfectionist thinking can erode self-esteem due to all or nothing thinking, emotionalism and catastrophizing.
For the perfectionist, when she fails in one task, she herself is a failure. There is no distinction between the task and the person. Nor the present set-back and one's previous track record.
One "bad" outcome destroys everything. Everything a perfectionist does becomes who there are, up to the moment. Her house is a mess=she is a mess.
We put terrible, unrealistic pressures on ourselves; feel stress, disappointment, frustration, sadness, anxiety and depression. Then we beat ourselves up for feeling that way.
There is no good going to come of this scenario, so we need to change it.
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